Virtue and Grace

Scene VIII

At the Harvest Ball.

 

GRACE

I am going to tear all of my hair out, vomit, and faint, in that order.

 

HARRY

No, you won’t. 

 

GRACE

How do you know?

 

HARRY

Because we would leave you on the ground.

 

GRACE

What?

 

FREDERICK

He’s joking, Gray. (Pause.) We would drag you out to the gardens and hide you in a hedge first.

 

GRACE

Brilliant, much better.

 

THEODORE

Deep breaths everyone, deep breaths.

 

FREDERICK

Theo, you look more nervous than Gray.

 

THEODORE

In fairness, Harry does not look great either.

 

HARRY

Eh.

 

FREDERICK

Good God, I have to be the strong one? Let’s grab some wine.

 

They flag down a server and the scene shifts focus to VIRTUE and AUNT.

 

AUNT

I hear that his estate only makes 2,000 a year.

 

VIRTUE

Does he not also run a hotel?

 

AUNT

You can only rely on property, not on business. He’s out of the question.

 

VIRTUE

Hm. What about the tall, slim man by the rose vase?

 

AUNT

An excessive gambler. Your dowry would be gone in the blink of an eye.

 

VIRTUE

What is wrong with these men?

 

AUNT

They’re men. 

 

VIRTUE

Oh Aunt, be kind.

 

AUNT

I thought you would be the first to denounce men given what happened to you back home.

 

VIRTUE

Do not mention that here! 

 

AUNT

No one heard.

 

VIRTUE

I never want to think about that day again.

 

AUNT

You’re unwell. Let’s get some fresh air.
 

VIRTUE

No, thank you. (Looking around and spotting FREDERICK.) I see someone I know from Canterbury. I’m going to greet him.

 

AUNT

Yes, of course, be careful, Virtue.

 

VIRTUE approaches FREDERICK and co. drinking their wine while AUNT joins a circle of other women.

 

GRACE

You know, I do feel calmer. The excitement is outweighing the nerves. I am at a party dressed in my greatest disguise yet, and I will have great fun!

 

VIRTUE

Hello, Freddy, funny seeing you here!

 

GRACE

(She’s surprised, despite the fact that she knew VIRTUE would be here.) Heaven have mercy!

 

FREDERICK

Why, if it isn’t the Seven Heavenly Virtues herself!

 

HARRY

Which deadly sin does that make you, Fred?

 

FREDERICK

Ha-ha. Virtue, this is Lord Ravensworth, The Right Honorable Theodore Paget, and my cousin Lord Quimby. 

 

VIRTUE

It is a pleasure to meet you all.

 

THEODORE

The pleasure is ours, Lady Virtue. How long have you known our Frederick?

 

VIRTUE

We took riding lessons together as children. You should have seen him dote on his horse. He loved nothing more in the world.

 

FREDERICK

That is as true now as it was then. The old girl is still around and has a few fine children as well. You should come and see them if you’re interested.

 

VIRTUE

I would love nothing more. Riding is so freeing, it will be a much needed escape from all this pressure. 

 

FREDERICK

Verily, I thought Gray here was going to have a stroke.

 

VIRTUE

(Laughing.) Then you must join us, my lord.

 

GRACE

I will be sure to. Harry and I are staying with Fred this summer.

 

FREDERICK

Would you pay us a visit in three days' time?

 

VIRTUE

I look forward to it, and my aunt will accompany me of course.

 

FREDERICK

Ah, and how much resentment towards me does she still harbor?

 

VIRTUE

Her anger could fuel a small carriage without horses to draw it.

 

FREDERICK

That’s wholly unfair.

 

VIRTUE

Do you think so?

 

HARRY

What did he do?

 

VIRTUE

He set fire to her luggage.

 

This sends all into a fit of laughter.

 

FREDERICK

It was an accident!

 

VIRTUE

It was not! It was premeditated!

 

FREDERICK

I was only teasing with the strike-a-light.

 

VIRTUE

You, and I quote, said “now I shall set the witch’s belongings aflame!” and proceeded to strike the flint.

 

FREDERICK

As. A. Joke.

 

VIRTUE

Then it was not a very good joke.

 

FREDERICK

Eh, it’s not for everyone.

 

VIRTUE

You are something, Freddy. Now, I better go and fill my dance card. 

 

FREDERICK

Could I have the honor of your first dance?

 

VIRTUE

With gladness.

 

She moves on to speak to other parties.

 

HARRY

Well, you two seem thick as thieves. 

 

FREDERICK

I’m happy to see her again. After that silly fire business we didn’t see each other much.

 

THEODORE

I, for one, am not surprised that you are an arsonist.

 

GRACE

I know her.

 

FREDERICK

Since when?

 

GRACE

We met at the seamstress’ two weeks ago. She was looking at the ugliest hat I’d ever seen. Then we began writing to one another. I’m supposed to meet with her on Sunday. 

 

FREDERICK

You should have said hello.

 

GRACE

I knew she would be here… I just didn’t know what to say. It’s so strange to know her and not be able to acknowledge it.

 

FREDERICK

Yes, but surely you know half of the people here.

 

GRACE

Yes, that's true. I don’t know why this feels so much stranger.

 

THEODORE

You should ask her to dance.

 

GRACE

I should, we should all take her cue and fill out our cards.

 

They disperse. Focus changes to AUNT and her circle.

 

ISABEL

Does anyone know anything of one Lord Harris?

 

AUNT

Hah! He is the nuisance Freddy to me. I know looks can be deceiving, but look how he seems sly, like there’s a twinkle of trouble in his eye? That’s because he is trouble! The crimes he has committed against me- HA! Why, it’s appalling. 

 

ISABEL

Well, continue on.

 

MARIA

Sparing no detail.

 

AUNT

I was visiting my sweet niece, who is over there, in Kent at her family home. Her mother should not have let her consort so much with this wily boy, but my sister was never one to listen to my good sense. My niece and the boy were both around 8. They met each afternoon for riding lessons, which seems innocent enough, but when I saw his sideways grin I knew mischief was soon to follow, and was I right? Yes, yes, yes, the next thing I knew my luggage was aflame! Aflame!

 

MARIA

Oh my.

 

BEATRICE

(Laughing.) He was a child. Just 8 and- (She dissolves into laughter.)

 

MARIA

What else did the boy do?

 

AUNT

What else? The boy is cracked. You can’t trust him with anything delicate, let alone a daughter.

 

ISABEL

It sounds like a thoughtless accident.

 

AUNT

Are you siding with the man that set a month’s worth of dresses and stockings on fire?

 

BEATRICE

I don’t know if the shenanigans of a child can be used as a mark against a man’s character. He wasn’t drowning rabbits.

 

MARIA

He is staying with Lord Ravensworth and seems to be close with the Earl.

 

BEATRICE

They are reputable men.

 

ISABEL

Your tale is noted and will be taken into account if he starts presenting any fire-obsessed tendencies. 

 

AUNT

A man who is charming, mischievous, and fun, can transform in an instant. You should be just as wary with seemingly innocent young men as you are with controlling men. I was married once. I’ve seen the many sides a man hides behind his smile. (Looking each of them in the eye.) This isn’t a game. I’ll be getting some air.

 

She exits in a huff. The first dance is called. It will be the Cotillion. VIRTUE and FREDERICK dance together. GRACE dances with MARIA, THEODORE with BEATRICE, and HARRY with ISABEL. Each couple is talking to each other in bits as they dance.

 

GRACE

Have you ever been to Scotland?

 

MARIA

No, mother says they’re heathens.

 

GRACE

Oh, I can assure you that isn’t true.

 

BEATRICE

How do you fair this evening, Theodore?

 

THEODORE

Very well, Beatrice. Are you well?

 

BEATRICE

Quite.

 

HARRY

Hello, Miss Dalton.

 

ISABEL

Hello, Lord Ravensworth.

 

VIRTUE

Do you like it better here than in Kent?

 

FREDERICK

I don’t know. It is nice to be so close to London proper. 

 

MARIA

Well, I hear the Scots are worse than the Americans.

 

GRACE

Do you know many Americans? 

 

MARIA

I would never consort with one.

 

THEODORE

Are you still drawing?

 

BEATRICE

Every day.

 

THEODORE

What is your subject?

 

BEATRICE

A nest of Chaffinches in our garden.

 

HARRY

Oh, we are so formal.

 

ISABEL

Better formal than indecent.

 

HARRY

Ah…

 

VIRTUE

Ah, a city man, are you?

 

FREDERICK

It’s more exciting.

 

VIRTUE

More trouble for you to get into.

 

FREDERICK

You sound like your aunt!

 

THEODORE

I love birds.

 

BEATRICE

Do you?

 

THEODORE

I’ve always wanted one as a pet.

 

BEATRICE

Well I do hope you get one.

 

HARRY

True… Better formal than indecent….

 

The dance finishes HARRY and ISABEL stare at each other uncomfortably until ISABEL leaves.

 

GRACE

Do you always judge entire countries at a time, or do you ever stop to think that each individual citizen may be unique?

 

MARIA leaves.

 

GRACE

That’s fair.

 

VIRTUE 

I do not sound like my aunt!

 

FREDERICK

You better be careful, Virtue. You don’t want to turn out bitter.

 

VIRTUE

Be nice, Freddy.

 

FREDERICK

Always am.

 

HARRY

Fred, I’m hopeless.

 

FREDERICK

(Leading HARRY away.) Good God man, what did you say?

 

VIRTUE

(To GRACE.) Is Freddy always like this?

 

GRACE

Worse. 

 

VIRTUE

Then I’m afraid he hasn’t changed one bit since the age of 8.

 

GRACE

That’s how all men are.

 

VIRTUE

Oh, even you?

 

GRACE

Oh, (Laughing.) yes but I was already perfect at the age of 8.

 

VIRTUE

How lucky.

 

GRACE

Isn’t it? Are you dancing the next dance or would you like to take a walk with me?

 

VIRTUE

I’m free until our dance, actually.

 

GRACE

As am I!

 

VIRTUE and GRACE will have their vignette; then THEODORE, KATHERINE, and ISABEL,; and finally, FREDERICK and HARRY. The music of the ball will fade into the background while the subjects of the vignettes remain the only people lit.

 

VIRTUE

You are lucky to have Freddy as a cousin. Are you close with Harry and Theodore as well?

 

GRACE

I consider them family too. Fred introduced us.

 

VIRTUE

At school?

 

GRACE

Uh, yeah. It was in a painting class where we really got to know each other.

 

VIRTUE

Do you like making art?

 

GRACE

I’m too impatient to learn any real technique. What I really love is the theatre.

 

VIRTUE

Are you melodramatic, Gray?

 

GRACE

Oh, of course not… but I confess, sometimes a situation does call for melodrama.

 

VIRTUE

Oh?

 

GRACE

Mostly for a laugh. What kind of theatre do you like?

 

VIRTUE

I most often attend the opera with my siblings. 

 

GRACE

But is it your favorite?

 

VIRTUE

I must confess to you, my guilty pleasure is the comedies. 

 

GRACE

Why do you make that out to be so serious? (VIRTUE looks around anxiously.) You can tell me, my lady, I will speak of it to no one.

 

VIRTUE

In comedies the playwright can get away with subverting societal norms and making a sort of dangerous commentary on the world without consequence. 

 

GRACE

Like they can write anything as long as the play ends straight and narrow.

 

VIRTUE

Isn’t that exciting?

 

GRACE

Yes, why were you nervous to say so?

 

VIRTUE

It feels treacherous, like I’m rebelling against God and Country.

 

GRACE

You really are Virtuous, you know, but I think there is a glint of wildness in you.

 

VIRTUE

I am not insane! But, yes, I occasionally feel like I don’t act like myself. Not that I’m insincere or dishonest-

 

GRACE

But you hold back?

 

VIRTUE

I- yes.

 

GRACE

I am the same.

 

VIRTUE

You? You are confident and bold.

 

GRACE

Only around certain people. With others I hold in emotion, calculating every move I make as not to stand out.

 

VIRTUE

That weighs on one’s soul.

 

GRACE

Then we must be brutally honest and ridiculously carefree together.

 

Lights down on them and up on THEODORE and KATHERINE. KATHERINE is sitting on the floor, panicky and unwell.

 

THEODORE

Miss Katherine, are you all right?

 

KATHERINE

Not very right at all.

 

THEODORE

Will you tell me what is the matter?

 

KATHERINE

I don’t know if I can get married, Lord- um Honorable Paget.

 

THEODORE

(Sitting down next to her.) You don’t have to call me by my title, Katy. I taught you Sunday School and that makes us old friends. Why don’t you think you can get married?

 

KATHERINE

I don’t want to marry an old man! No offense to you, of course.

 

THEODORE

Well, I understand your meaning. You don’t have to get married urgently, do you?

 

KATHERINE

My parents want me to marry as soon as anyone asks. They say that my youth is desirable, and my prospects diminish by the year, but what if I loathe and despise every man I meet? 

 

THEODORE

You’re still so young, Katy. Your eldest sister is not married yet.

 

KATHERINE

And they say she will die tragically lonely. I cannot live and die alone! What will I do without a family?

 

THEODORE

Hey, you will always have a family.

 

KATHERINE

They will all die, leave, or come to resent me for my dependence on them.

 

THEODORE

Let’s get you something to eat and drink; you will feel better.

 

KATHERINE

I don’t think I can stand. I feel so woozy.

 

ISABEL enters.

 

THEODORE

Here, take my handkerchief. Where is your sister, Isabel?

 

ISABEL

I’m right here, your Lordship. What is going on?

 

THEODORE

She is rattled. Could I escort you home?

 

KATHERINE

Please come.

 

ISABEL

Fine then, help me carry her.

 

They exit, holding KATHERINE between them. Lights up on FREDERICK and HARRY.

 

HARRY

I hardly said anything at all to her. I hate how forced and regimented these things are.

 

FREDERICK

I know.

 

HARRY

Is this really facilitating love? Is bumbling around on a dance floor in front of the entire town supposed to magically make me fall in love?

 

FREDERICK

I don’t know. Does it matter?

 

HARRY

What kind of question is that? Does love matter?

 

FREDERICK

No, I know love matters, but so what if you don’t meet the woman of your dreams tonight?

 

HARRY

I just thought it would happen, but it never has.

 

FREDERICK

You can meet people anywhere, you don’t have to marry the first woman you dance with.

 

HARRY

I just thought it would happen.

 

FREDERICK

Magically?

 

HARRY

Something like that!

 

FREDERICK

You’re a muttonhead.

 

HARRY

Yeah, yeah.

 

Lights up on the ball. The next dance is a waltz. VIRTUE and GRACE go to the dance floor.

 

HARRY

There’s no way in hell I’m doing the waltz.

 

FREDERICK

Look who the prude is now! Let’s go home.

 

HARRY

You don’t have to leave for me.

 

FREDERICK 

I’m going to anyway.

 

HARRY

What about Grace?

 

GRACE and VIRTUE begin to waltz.

 

FREDERICK

I think she’s fine without us.

 

They exit.